Communication in Marriage and Relationships

Communication is a very essential tool to sustain any relationship.Expressing oneself clearly is very essential to keep the relationship going the right way. Hectic life, busy work schedules, stress, lack of time, health issues, kids, parents, in laws etc, can all be a limiting factor in establishing a good communication flow going. But marriage demands that together time" which is so essential.
Communication is not just about expressing oneself but its also about being a good listener and understanding your partner. One should not communicate inorder to win or prove oneself right. But communication should be used as a means to express, understand and reach a win win solution.
Many relationships and marriages break or end in divorce because of lack of communication or incorrect communication. Many couples say we have tried many ways of communicating but it just doesnt seem to work.But have you tried to communicate effectively? Have you tried to listen, understand and express without trying to prove a point and win the arguement? Have you tried to respect each others reasons, point of view and opinion? Have you communicated to establish your intelligence and superiority or to reach an amicable solution?
Communication is not about being aggressive and making strong statements but one needs to respect each others point of view, understand the issue and try and look at it from each others perspective and take the best option and decision, which should be mutual.Its important to clarify and not assume things. Incase of doubt its always better to clarify your partners statements and intentions instead of assuming and harbouring negative thoughts. Effective communication always leads to a harmonious relationship, provides peace of mind, puts an end to suspicion and unwanted thoughts and assumtions.Emotional intimacy is dependent on good communication.So how do you get that "together time" and establish effective communication? Always take some time out to be with each other and share the days happenings with each other. You could take the time out by going for walks after dinner, exercising together, calling each other a couple of times throught the day, even if its for just 3-5 minutes. These things
look very simple but they increase your emotional intimacy and bonding. Showing care and concern to each other in simple ways like enquiring about each others health, day to day activities, reminding each other about important events, meetings and schedules help take the relationship a long way.
But also there are some basic things which one must avoid to maintain that mutual respect.Things like avoiding to communicate when your partner wants to communicate, not being clear and specific, rolling your eyes and making mockery of your partners opinion, watching TV and giving a cold shoulder to the partner, showing disinterest in the partners needs etc. Such tactics leads to anger, irritation and ends in a fight leading to bitterness.One needs to understand that relationships are based on needs. These needs have to be met and fulfilled in order to make the relationship beautiful. Most of the times one remembers only unfulfilled needs and forgets all the needs which were met. The best way to nurture a relationship is to find out what the partner needs and fulfill it.